Gauge or something like it

I have, like most knitters, a love-hate relationship with gauge. I love the concept of it, I understand the need for it and I have the utmost respect for those of you that faithfully knit swatches until they get the desired result. But for some reason I can't seem to get gauge, like, ever. I know, that sounds a little overly dramatic. And I'm sure it would help a lot if I at some point actually used the yarn recommended in a pattern. But I look at knitting patterns the way I look at cooking recipes. "I like the end result, but what if I substituted milk for cream, leave out the zucchini and put in chocolate chips instead, and use butter instead of shortening."
Like with cooking, my knitting adjustments are made based on what I have lying around the house. If I don't have the lace weight baby merino, I will use the Red Heart sport weight acrylic that is lurking at the bottom of my modest stash.
To get gauge is challenging enough if everything else is equal, but the substitution game makes it even more so. Do I ever get gauge? Well, no. But my projects are often interesting. And like the Yarn Harlot, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee (check out her blog, link is in my links section, it is hysterical) I tend to think:"I'm sure it will fit someone."
My attempt at Evelyn Clark's Heartland shawl in sportweight acrylic turned out to be so frustrating that it ended up becoming an adorable tiny wrap that my terrible two year old parades around the house in. She looks absolutely precious in it, which makes all the ripping back, swearing and banging my head against the wall worth it. I would rather stick bamboo shoots under my fingernails than complete the pattern in the yarn I picked, there is no way I could have made that thing into a full size shawl for me, but my munchkin is delighted by it, so it's all good.